The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
(via epic-humor)
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Try out a cool way to separate egg yolks from egg whites!
this is genius.
this is actually lifechanging
(via chubbycartwheels)
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lamp
guaranteed to make your friends shit themselves
I need this so much.
(Source: gaksdesigns, via stevenallen1)
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This will be a new addition to my tattoos one day.
(Source: likeanangel84, via elizabethhclaire)
CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT THESE DOGS FOR A MINUTE THEY ARE FUCKING ADORABLE AND 12 YEARS OLD AND NEED TO HAVE THEIR FACES BATHED DAILY AND THEIR FUCKING NAMES ARE MOP AND BUCKET.
Things not to say to me while I’m eating:
- That’s a lot of food
- That’s not enough food
- You’re going to eat all of that???!??
- That looks gross
- That’s not healthy
- That looks healthy
- That’s disgusting
- Why are you eating that?
- I’m glad you’re eating more
In case you didn’t understand, DON’T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT MY EATING/FOOD/INTAKE WHETHER IT BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.
(via ladypandacat)
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
(via ladypandacat)
I like staying up all night but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep do you see my problem
(via kingcosmo)
Hi, I complain a lot.Don't like it?
Don't read it. :]
